This is a story dedicated to the project “My Dear Friend,” in support of women with cancer.

In my dreams, she often appears to me. There was a time when I dreamed about her every day. Several times I experienced her death in my dreams, and woke up with tears, but most often we talked about something, did something together. I am truly happy in those days, as a result of being given a brief opportunity to see her, I am filled with a sense of love that fills me.

One day I dreamed that I was talking to her on the phone. I remembered it very well, because even while sleeping, I understood that it was impossible, so I eagerly listened to her every word, trying to save her voice in my mind… I woke up right there, so broken and desperate, I didn’t want to wake up. But at that moment I learned what hopelessness is. It turned out that these were not problems at work, conflicts with friends or the breakup of any relationship, it was not even a betrayal of one’s dream or the failure of a business. Hopelessness is when you stand at the grave and understand that this is not a terrible dream, not someone’s stupid joke, but a reality and you need to live on, but without this person.

My life is described in letters I write to her every year on the same date, telling her what has happened during the year and how I am feeling. The last letter I wrote to her ended with the words: “please do not stop coming into my dreams”. It is my hope every night that she will come to me, call my name, and then “love will call your name and you will melt.”

love will come
and when love comes
love will hold you
love will call your name
and you will melt
sometimes though
love will hurt you but
love will never mean to
love will play no games
cause love knows life
has been hard enough already


- rupi kaur